Pardon my angst

Memorial Day taught me a lot of things.

Contrary to what many of us believe, Memorial Day is NOT about the fallen. It is not about their sacrifices or their families' sacrifices.

It IS about BBQ, music, fireworks, and (let us not forget) the all important SALES.

This was brought home to me in a big way this Memorial Day. Normally I spend the day in quiet contemplation away from people. It's just easier. I tend to emote when I think about my family who have given so much over so many generations. Emoting is NOT acceptable here in the Heartland. This is something that has been drilled into me over 4 years. I can feel whatever I want as long as I smile, look happy, say all the right things, and make sure other people are comfortable. This means I avoid people... a lot.

But I digress.

I tried to set aside my reclusive side this year, to encourage others to remember the reasons for the day. It was awful. Americans do not want to remember. They accosted me. Apparently it's the military's fault we've been in a state of war for the past decade.  I was in a position where I couldn't really call them out, but oh I wanted to tell them how I really feel. You have no idea.

Then there were the, "Well, we're conscientious objectors..." so the military can kiss off (essentially). Um, I'm sorry, are you suggesting there are no conscientious objectors in the military? I know a few, so respectfully, you need to check yourself.

The clincher: A seat had been reserved for me at the concert for doing volunteer work and for being on my feet being accosted by people who only care about hot dogs and fireworks while plastering a fake smile on my face. I went to get my seat as the concert was starting and some asshole had taken it. When I tried to explain that these seats had been reserved for the organization I was volunteering for (a military related organization), he told me off and told me to go find other seats.  Seriously?? I mean I was only supposed to sit there so that I could take pictures for the organization. Why on Earth would you think that your desire to sit up the mayor's asshole trumps actually doing work for military families? But, I couldn't say that. So I went and hunted down another seat.

A military family gave a speech about supporting our service members and their families, because any day could be the day that our lives come crashing down around us. Many of the military families there were crying. It was very emotional.  Some guy leaned over and said, that lady's husband isn't dead, why are people emotional? I didn't know what to say. How do you explain to someone that we are talking about our worst fears, fears that many families in the audience that night had already experienced. It spoke to how profoundly disconnected our 1% of families from the rest of America. I don't understand how people do not understand the emotion and sentiment, the shared burden of sacrifice across our military families, our communal grief for each loss, whether we knew that service member personally or not.

Clearly I just do not understand the importance of BBQ, music, fireworks and sales when my countrymen are putting their lives, their American dreams, on the line to fulfill the political will of our country.

Were that all not enough, then my peacenik  friends spent the weekend walking right up to the line where they would have gotten punched, talking about war, something they know nothing about. They argued that people who served in just wars have the peace of knowing they were doing the right thing, but apparently those who have served in this war have PTSD because they know that this war was unjust and they, therefore, committed unjust acts. Please tell me what to say to that that doesn't involve an assault conviction?

If these wars are unjust, then every American has blood on his/her hands, because the country rushed to war. They longed for it. They cried out for it in blood lust. To put the collective guilt for the conflict on those who were hired to carry out our nation's political will is profoundly disgusting and wrong. Of course this is where we are as a nation.  Americans now know that Iraq, which they rushed to get involved in, was not justified.  Rather than accept responsibility for using our service members to fight that war, to assuage their blood lust, they are using the military as the nation's scapegoat. It causes me significant consternation, because I am concerned that we are devolving to the same attitudes and sentiments observed as Vietnam wrapped up. I wonder if the ultimate defining characteristic of America will be the callousness of it's people toward those whom they have asked to make the ultimate sacrifice.

But like I said, it was national BBQ, music, fireworks, and sale day, not a day for quiet contemplation of who we are, what we stand for and how we honor the sacrifices of those who gave everything the nation asked and more.