Senior Jefe and I have been doing a lot of talking and thinking lately and while I can't say he's at a decision point, it seems like we are getting closer. If all goes well, I will have my PhD within a year from now and hopefully *cross fingers and toes* I will have a good job lined up.
If all of this comes to fruition, and other things that have been going on stay the same, it looks like we might get off this ride and try something different, like seeing each other everyday, having kids, planning vacations that don't include cross-country moves, or conversations that don't have to be planned to the minute to fit between our work schedules. We might just get to be regular ole civilians.
There are a variety of reasons why we are entertaining this, some of which I have no right to discuss. They're Senior Jefe's reasons. My reasons are quite obvious. I can make really good money, but almost every science job requires me either to be geographically mobile (to places that the Navy is unlikely to go) or require me to commit to setting down roots in one job in one spot for forever (or at least what seems like forever to a milspouse (fyi, these are also places unlikely for the Navy to go). I am thinking about kids. I refuse to be a single parent (much love and respect to all the single parents out there and the milspouses who often function as single parents...I just can't do it) and honestly, most science jobs require me to be the one that makes the long hours/crazy schedule choices for my career. We can't just staff our kid out to be raised by anyone. And let's face it, I am just an awful excuse for a military spouse. I can't get with the program. I can't play the reindeer games. I really believe on some level my antipathy for SWO stabbing among spouses and officers alike injures Senior Jefe's career prospects. Like I said, I am a bad milspouse.
Of course, all of these things are out of my hands. I would never ask Senior Jefe to leave, no matter how much I might think that is exactly what we should do. It's his life and his career and I swore I would never interfere. Senior Jefe says that if he decides to go, he will make that decision 2 yrs from now when his time is up, but he is starting to look around and see what is out there for him. A lot can happen in two years, I know, but it is possible that this is the beginning of a long kiss goodbye.
3 comments:
Honestly, if he does leave, I don't think he'll be alone. With the government talking about cutting health care and retirement benefits (they're NOT entitlements tyvm), I have the distinct feeling there will be a mass exodus of those who can leave - will. It looks like we're all going to be faced with some hard decisions in the next couple years because no matter what the military likes to think, our families have to come first.
You are the best mil-spouse in the world, actually. You're a role model of a human being and I'm lucky to know you. You getting your PhD is such an amazing feat for anyone. I think you should be on the cover of a magazine. :D
@Amanda: You are so right and this is playing into things as well.
@Unlikely: I love you. You're wrong on this one thing, but I love you. That said, if someone wanted to put me on the cover of a magazine, I would do it in a heartbeat. Let's face it, I wouldn't be getting a PhD if I weren't a wee bit vain. ;D
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