On my career and why I don't give specific career advice to people

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a geologist. The specific branch of geology has changed with time, but I have never seriously wavered in my career choice. At six, I told my first grade teacher I wanted to be a paleontologist. She didn't know what that was, so she had me explain it to the class. I told her I wanted to study dinosaurs and that in order to do that, I needed a doctorate.

Main entryway at LA County Natural History Museum, December 2010.

Then in third grade, I watched a PBS video on the Hawaiian volcanoes. There is something truly magical about watching ribbons of bright orange molten rock collide with the sea to form pillow lavas as the lava hits the cold waters of the Pacific. I decided I'd be a volcanologist.

Formation of a pillow lava. Photo courtesy of http://bit.ly/ayXoZS

In high school, I became obsessed with ground and surface water pollution. I was fascinated by red tides, so I decided to be a hydrogeologist.

Red Tides. Courtesy of: http://bit.ly/gYoavs

Then in college, I found out about ophiolites and how we can use them to study ancient seafloor spreading processes. I decided I would be a marine geologist/volcanologist.

Troodos Ophiolite in Cyprus. You can see the X-cutting dike relationships (near vertical on L side of picture and near horizontal at center of the picture). The dikes feed magma from the mantle to the seafloor, creating new crust. From: http://bit.ly/eDwOlK

In graduate school while I was working on ophiolites, I learned how microorganisms can alter the oceanic crust at black and white smokers. I thought, someday I should pursue that.

Alvin's mechanical arm reaches toward a black smoker on teh EPR. Bacteria live off the hydrothermal fluids coming from the chimney and in the chimney rock itself. They transform metals in order to gain energy as no light penetrates this deep below the ocean surface. From: http://bit.ly/fgDtVG

Then I got married and tried to find a job in my field that was close to the base, so I ended up as a HAZMAT manager, and Environmental Manager. I didn't feel challenged at that job and when we moved, I looked for a new position. I found NOTHING within a 2 hr, one way commute, so I tried to be a housewife and turned into a lunatic. Hubby pushed me to write up my thesis into a publication and get back into the game. This may have been for his own sanity.
I decided to do just that, and that I would work on microbial alteration of the seafloor. Funding fell through, so I ended up constructing a dissertation out of microbial weathering in terrestrial hot springs. It wasn't exactly what I wanted (being a seafloor girl), but that is what postdoc positions are for.

Field Sampling in 2009 to look at microbial weathering in hot spring systems. Note: Do not try this at home.

By now I am sure you see a trend. I've always wanted to be some sort of geologist and when I can't do that, I am miserable. Senior Jefe and I agree to a non-interference pact when we were dating. I would never ever ask him to leave the Navy, if he never ever asked me to give up my career. This is unusual in the military spouse community. In some circles, I have been told I am a bad wife because I insist on pursuing my own career goals, wants and desires. But what they fail to understand is that I wouldn't be who I am without my passion, just as Senior Jefe wouldn't be who he is without his.
Not everyone is like me though. I don't think everyone reads non-fiction science books for fun, or just feels miserable when they aren't working at their job. Not everyone takes their rock hammer on vacation, on the off-chance there might be some great geology, like the dikes on Catalina Island I spied on our honeymoon. This is why I don't suggest everyone be like me. I want everyone to find and pursue their passions and work them into a career somehow.
I worry that it comes across that way though. When the DoD asks an opinion on military spouse careers, I inevitably feel like sharing my opinion pisses people off. I don't want help from the DoD, because honestly, they can't help me and I know it. There really aren't research jobs for geomicrobiologists/structural geologists at most DoD facilities. It would be easy to be a general geologist at an Army bases (lots of jobs), but not so much with the Navy.  I feel guilty talking about my credentials in military circles, because it is a conversation ender, not starter and I don't have any general skills like crochet or knitting, or scrapbooking, or cooking, or anything that I can build common ground with other spouses and people in the military have a distinct distaste for speaking with well-educated spouses. This usually comes up when I have an opinion on somewhere in the world they've been that I have also been. Then they tell Senior Jefe he should knock me up to control me.
I don't give advice, because being me makes every DoD function a living hell. I feel like the girl with crazy hair, home-made clothes, and braces at the 6th grade dance. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. At the same time, I worry because I see so many spouses sell themselves short. I have to remind myself that isn't my business.
I just don't have any career advice for other spouses, because I realize I am willing to make choices most spouses wouldn't and thus my life is very different. It's why I don't really feel I am a military spouse. I am just the geeky girl in the corner with braces, who happened to marry a guy in the Navy.