Professional Development

The Wall Street Journal's Market Watch ran an article on "How a family can survive a spouse's long absence". It was not what I expected, or maybe it is and that is why I am so disappointed.
The comments are particularly interesting, because many men were offended by the author's statement that she was letting her husband go to a war zone, as if she had the right to control his professional decisions. Equally fascinating was the lack of women responding to the lack of articulation by the author that her career and her life are important as well, and not simply as a distraction from separation.
This idea that careers and professional development are primarily the calling and purview of men, that they make men who they are is perpetually fascinating to me, primarily because it is so strongly coupled to women articulating that personal and professional growth and development are distractions from loneliness while the man is off following his personal and professional destiny.
In the article, the author's husband has a "career", but women's employment is discussed as "taking a job" while he is away. The connotations of these words are very important. Career is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as an individual's "course or progress through life (or a distinct portion of life). It is usually considered to pertain to remunerative work (and sometimes also formal education)." Careers are passions and sometimes obsessions. They do, to a certain extent, define who we are. A job, on the other hand, refers to: "A regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one's trade, occupation, or profession." We don't hear of careers as day-laborers. Day-labor is a "job". This word choice signifies an inherent difference in valuation of  the work performed by service members and their spouses.
So what? They're just words, right? 
They aren't. Think about it. There was a massive row over Congress restructuring MyCAA to eliminate coverage for professions requiring bachelor's degrees, precicely because under the new rules the only types of work the government will help spouses get is reduced to "jobs". Nursing, a "career" requiring a 4-yr degree isn't covered. However, medical transcription and hair dressing, which are more often "jobs" are covered. Congress turned MyCAA into a jobs program, eliminating any real possibility that significant fractions of military spouses could use the money to obtain "careers". We can stand back and blame Congress for decisions like this, or we can accept that perhaps, we are partly to blame for this.
We talk about ourselves as jobbers, not career-women. We talk about keeping ourselves distracted while "the men are gone", instead of embracing our own callings to develop both body, mind, and spirit every day. We expect less of ourselves and in turn others expect less of us and don't invest in us the way we deserve. If we want a career advancement program, we have to start talking about our careers, the things in our own lives (not our husband's) that we are passionate about. But that isn't all, we also have to follow through and pursue those passions every day. 
Professional development isn't simply a task on the to-do list for when deployment rolls around. Careers aren't made for "when the men are gone". They are the thing you get out of bed for, you work for, you strive for, you dream about every day. 
Growth, personally and professionally, is a daily pursuit. It is not something you save for "when the men are gone."