Corkscrew

 I have a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head these days. I feel like each day is turning into a bit of a rollercoaster, and not the fun ones, but the corkscrew kind that makes me horribly nauseated.

Over the weekend I helped edit Senior Jefe’s introduction letter to his new CO. If there is one thing I am superb at, it is writing an AMAZING cover letter. I believe a good letter needs to make the recipient feel something by the time they’re done with it, and when it comes to a cover letter, that something needs to be “I need to chat with this person, now.” It took us 4 drafts for me to get Senior Jefe to make some of the changes most needed, but we got there.

It appears the letter had the desired effect, because Senior Jefe heard back from his new CO almost immediately. He apparently is moving on and the PCO is the CO Senior Jefe had on his first tour as an officer. Cue: “It’s a small world after all.” This guy loves Senior Jefe. Moreover, I wrote him an email a few months ago after I passed my comps, because his wife was finishing her MEd when I met her and she was super supportive of my education/career goals when Senior Jefe and I were engaged. She was also a school principle and had a couple of kids on top of it. She was INTENSE. And, as such, she was really inspirational to me, because she didn’t compromise who she was and who she wanted to be even with the complexity of all the crap the Navy throws people. After my comps, I wanted to find her and tell her thank you for being a quiet inspiration to me on this crazy, crazy journey I am on. Since I didn’t have her address, and it was easy to look up Capt. Awesome, I emailed him and asked him to pass things along for me.

So Senior Jefe ended up chatting with Capt. Awesome yesterday and apparently his wife is now in the 3^rd yr of her PhD. And they want to get together with us when Senior Jefe gets to No-fuck and have dinner. He also said he would help Senior Jefe with some of the bumpiness the Navy has been pitching our general direction, which could be a huge help. I realize this doesn’t guarantee that things will be “oh, so peachy” forever, but it is a huge win.

My ICP run got tanked thanks to some miscommunication, so I am behind another day. This means I will not have my data by the end of the semester and hopefully be writing this summer. It means more patience, more waiting, more slogging it out. I think I injured my shoulder from doing the same motion 1000+ times over the past few days. It hurts like a mothafucka.

Several people apparently saw my letter in the paper last Friday. I was told by one person that they are amazed by all the stuff I take on: school, milspouse, advocacy, etc. I honestly don’t think I do very much. After our weekly meeting, my boss, who I kind of went off on last Friday (well, I really went off on someone else and cced him), took me aside and asked me how I was doing. It sounds stupid but I hate it when people ask me this question, because I don’t know how to lie and say “everything’s peachy” when it isn’t, so instead I told him the whole drama disaster that has been messing everything up lately, a story which can only be told over copious amounts of tears, so I ended up in this weird place of me crying, him hugging me and telling me everything will be fine and that I have just had way too much on my plate and me feeling like an ass because I could line up 12 people who are doing more with less support than I have.

Juxtaposed against all of this, I have a friend going through a divorce that is hopping right out of one relationship and straight into another and basically wants my approval. I highly disapprove of these types of things, because I really believe that when a relationship ends, you usually have some work to do on yourself and rebound things rarely work. There is something to be said for figuring out who you are outside of a relationship and what you really need out of life, before jumping into the next relationship where you might end up where you just were. This is an unpopular viewpoint, I know, after having the same discussion with lots of people over the years. But, because it worked for me, I guess it is all the advice I have. She took it as I don’t want her to be happy, but that isn’t what I said at all. I feel that you can settle for something that seems good now and may not be what you need in the long run, or you can go through a little bit of pain and suffering now and deal with the fallout from the relationship that’s ending and, in the long run, end up far happier and certain of who you are, where you need to be, and what you need in a relationship. It’s the long-term, not stock market view. So, I left lunch feeling like a horrible, horrible person. I am just no good at giving people the advice they want, not the advice they need.

I am calling it a day I think. I still have 500 samples that need analyzed, that will still need analyzed tomorrow. I need a break.