Dependent

I hate this word. It makes me cringe. It is a word that probably never would have arrived in my life were it not for the Navy. But here it is and I live with it like a scarlet letter emblazoned on my chest. It doesn't matter how much money I make,  how far away I run from the military, how self-sufficient, how alone, how in charge or control I am, to them I am just a "dependent".

I have avoided my frustration with the military, with their labeling of me, their besmirching of my character with this wretched word, by staying far, far away from the Navy. There are obvious signs of our occasional association, but nothing too overt. I don't live near a base. I don't associate primarily with other Navy folk (as I am not near a base). My life is largely independent of his PCS and deployment schedule, as it is gravitationally dominated by BIGU. In many ways I can fool myself into believing I am independent and I can do it for extended periods of time.

Until...

My ID card was set to expire 12 days from now. The Navy, in it's less than infinite wisdom, will not allow me to renew my ID without my spouse's permission...scratch that, accompaniment. That's right, I require not only his permission (despite my enrollment in DEERS), but his physical presence to get my ID renewed. Moreover,  if his physical presence cannot be achieved, I have to have him fill out all the paperwork, send it to me, along with a power of attorney that will allow me (in his name) get my ID renewed. My standard power of attorney was NOT sufficient to get this resolved.

All of this would have been no big deal if they would have let me renew my ID more than 30 days before it's expiration date, which apparently could NOT be done. My husband was here in early April (like 60 days before expiration).

This left me scrambling to get the situation handled, as my finals weren't until 2 weeks ago (within the 30 day window) and Senior Jefe was at his school (which finished Fri p.m.), so neither one of us could pack up and trek cross-country to deal with this stupid situation created by the idiocracy of the military's rules. So the clock ticked, and Senior Jefe scrambled to try to get paperwork for me and I scrambled to try to get in the car and get across the country to him, because even with said paperwork, we were told it wasn't a sure thing that this paperwork would allow me to get an ID. At the same time, I am writing 2 abstracts for conferences that must be done by the end of this week, among a long list of other things that are equally pressing and require my attention.

By Thursday I was having a panic attack about it. Senior Jefe made a unilateral decision and decided to take 2 weeks of leave, cross the country, and come to my aid. Today, after 24 hours in the car and one day of rest, Senior Jefe accompanied me for a 2 hr long trip to drive to the local Army base to get a new ID. His presence alone was sufficient to quiet any questions, making it quite clear that in much the same way that I get shots and license for the dog, who is then a creature for whom I am legally accountable, he gets an ID for me. It makes me sick that despite all that I have accomplished in life, despite all my awards and accolades, despite my acceptance by my scientific peers, I am nothing more than a dependent, a line item on a form, on par with a car, a house, or a pair of socks, or in mathematics, the variable that observed result of the manipulation of the independent variable.