Rights and Responsibilities of Citizenship

The comments on NPR's page today in response to the recent suicide of a Marine are frankly appalling (I'm looking at you, Penny Lane). But I realized as I read them, that they come from a cultural place in our society, a place that however offensive, has to be discussed.
For the majority of my life, all I have heard in American discourse is about people's "rights" and how they are being trampled because of this or that. I am in no way trying to denigrate that political discussion, because it is an important one. However, I can honestly say I never hear people clamor about their responsibilities as citizens. Maybe because both my grandfathers wore the uniform during WWI and WWII, or because my father served during Vietnam, or because my family has a tradition of military service extending back to the War for Independence, it has always, from my earliest moments, been impressed upon me that the rights we have in a free nation are awesome, but with awesome freedom and rights comes great responsibility. This includes the responsibility to defend our Nation from all enemies, foreign and domestic.
Aristotle's "The Politics" outlines a model of citizen responsibility which was central to the tenets upon which this country was founded, namely military service. In Athens women like me would be excluded from citizenship because of our perceived inability to engage in war.  In Rome as well, citizens were required to report for military duty in the legions within 30 days of the declaration of war. War was a part of the public sphere of men and it was considered something everyone did. That is not to say Rome did not hire mercenaries, it did. However, serving in the military according to one's station and experience was a prerequisite even for noblemen who wished to enter politics. It is no coincidence that so many great Roman generals were also Consuls and this may explain why George Washington was chosen as our first President.
It has only been of late in this country that we have divorced the responsibilities of citizenship from the rights people claim. In so doing, we have created a large populace who does not care to be involved in the political affairs of our Nation, because their families will not be affected by the US's foreign policies. It won't affect them, so why get involved?
I remember being in graduate school when 9/11 happened. I remember the clamor and drumbeat for war. I remember hateful comments directed at me for my protest of  the invasion of Iraq, because I did not see the purpose of putting our men and women in harm's way there. I remember writing and calling anyone who would listen, but having my words fall on deaf ears. The people of our Nation had spoken. I find it facinating now that every single citizen proclaims far and wide that this is 1 man's problem. It's all George Bush's fault. Well, ladies and gents, I am sorry. George Bush did not have the power to make war. Congress does. Congress reports to the American people and the American people were out for blood. There were no massive protests in the streets of OH. No one was conducting massive sit-ins in our representatives offices. More than a few times, I was told, "If you don't stand with us, you're against us", and "America, love it or leave it" in response to my protestations. I can't help but wonder now where all these people were who said that they were against the war before it happened and want to lay the blame for it squarely on every citizen and elected official but themselves. I'm sorry, but our Nation CHOSE these wars, whether through silence, or indifference, or apathy, or actively clamoring for it, WE CHOSE. We put our money behind it. We voted for people who supported it. We didn't stand up. WE CHOSE.
Some of us chose to stand up and volunteer to stand a post and bear the burden of that decision directly. These men and women chose to be the agents of our decisions and to wield the force of our national will. Their families chose to stand with them and bear the burden of fear, anxiety and worry for those who decided to stand on foreign soil as our agents. These families bear the burdens of the horrors of war, even if they don't directly experience the front lines. Kids fear their parents will never come home. Wives and husbands try to stabilize traumatized Vets, as well as calm their children's anxieties. They fill the gaps created by an inadequate mental health system within the military community. To a large extent they do so quietly and uncomplainingly, seeing this as part of the burden of citizenship.
Lately, military families have begun to speak out because the costs of these wars are so great. Multiple deployments into a war zone have left our fighting forces bruised (if we're lucky) and broken (if we're not). Military spouses and family members have carried the burden of holding the military members together through the sleepless nights and nightmares, always putting themselves in last place behind every other member of their family. There is only so long that you can ignore your own needs before you begin to show signs of distress as well. In this overwhelming need, we have come to the American people to ask for help. We don't ask that every able bodied person between the ages of 17 and 46 show up to war, as we used to and as the Romans used to. We don't ask for people to carry the fully weight of duty required to be citizens. We have only asked for some help carrying our Nation's burden.
We ask for better mental health care for ourselves and our service members, so that we and our children can deal with the anxiety, fear and constant stress we are under. We ask for compassion and understanding. We ask for help and protection of our veterans. We ask that the American people not cast us and our sacrifices aside with disdain.
Yes, we volunteered to bear the burden and duty of citizenship, because someone had to do it. It is abundantly clear from many conversations I have with my fellow Americans that people do not believe it is their duty of defend this Nation, let alone do anything to build it. Personally, I think we should institute national service for everyone so that we remind people that the Founding Fathers never had the intention that 99% of Americans would ask 1% to bear all the sacrifices for this Nation, but that is my personal opinion. Nevertheless, no one is asking you to stand up and fulfill your duty.
We are asking that you STOP and do not callously cast aside those who work to fulfill American's choices about our conduct with other nations. We ask you to stop using, "You volunteered" as an excuse to disregard us and our efforts to make this country better. We ask you to stop and listen to servicemembers, veterans and their families and try to understand the true costs of the war you have voted to engage in. We ask you to help us get the medical and mental health care we need and failing that, at least be kind. It is the smallest task to at least show you care enough about our Nation to be engaged in what you as a citizen have chosen and enacted.
Words hurt. Telling someone that they don't deserve to have support from the American people, even minimal support in the form of medical and mental health coverage, is tantamount to spitting in military families faces. It's saying that you are more than happy to use them up and then cast them out and step on them like the dust under your feet as soon as they are no longer physically or mentally able to serve your whims. It is the gravest of all insults and suggests that at least a large segment of the American people have forgotten that citizenship isn't all about the right to watch American Idol while eating french fries, it's about being responsible for choosing this Nation's future and then acting upon those choices.